Conscious Relationships

Dear Conscious women,

The nurturing problem

If you want true partnership this maybe hard for you to hear.  There are not many men who are open to self improvement.  And your desire to help them change is not being met with with an internal desire to match you vision for them. 

These strong nurturing feeling you have to heal others is not to be suppressed and are to be used.  BUT special care must be taken when using then with men.  Men are not women.  I will not tell you how to approach women.

Thinking you can nag men into behaving, improving, wanting what you want for them,.... does not work.  Men have an internal point of reference for their actions.  Yes, that's why, many times if you can only get him to think it is his idea he will do it. Still that is manipulation and he will eventually see through that and resent you for it.  

Consider that by not letting him find his own way you are stealing his chances to grow-up, to evolve, to change, to learn on his own.  By not letting him do his learning he will never become the man you are looking for.  A partnership.  Lasting change must come from with in.  Change imposed from the outside, in any form, loses the power of being source from the inside.  Sure you can invoke change by imposing external circumstances but when you remove them and their is no guarantee they will continue unless they have been matched with changes internally.  I'm talking about conviction.  If a man has internal conviction he will act in alignment with that conviction.

How does one get a man to change?  How can you get a man to want to change?  You don't.  Well if you believe in free will as your highest principle then

The Shadow Work Problem

There us this thing called shadow work.  It consists of becoming aware and healing your not so pleasant part of you.  If you want to be met equally, if you want partnership, doing your healing is critical.  Focus on spirituality and loving positive thoughts is fine.  Yet it is only one part of spirituality.  Progress requires finding the darker, the imperfections, the traumas, the energy blockages and healing them.

You can only build a building so high by focusing on adding to the top floors and reaching the sky when there are foundation cracks.

Restricting a man's freedom to get your security.

Not asking for consent or permission before changing

Trying to improve men.

Thinking your wild women energy does not need to be balanced or contained.

Not healing your own self before trying to heal others.

Believing you know what is best for another person.