Beauty, emotions, spiritual growth

It has come to my attention that some women equate emotional arousal with romantic arousal. It is stated this way, unless a man evokes an emotional response in her, he will not be seen as a potential romantic character in her world. In fact, as often repeated phrase for leaving a man is that there was no longer any emotional connection. So it seems clearly important to women. This seems as shallow as men who say unless she evokes an sexual arousal in him through beauty, she will not be seen as a sexual partner. Men are reported to leave their partners for younger versions due to the issues of visual beauty. Time and time again online dating profiles mention the desire for "chemistry."

Women want men to look beyond their beauty. And that's a good message. Some women, quite possibly many women, desire an internal emotional reaction to their man. And that unless they have it they feel there is something missing sand justifies leaving the relationship. I have a question on both sides. Is a man's insistence on beauty for attraction representative of an an internal spiritual lack? Is the woman's insistence on emotional impact for attraction equally representative of an internal spiritual lack? Can these voids be filled from with in? Is there a step in our spiritual growth (both men and women) when we no longer require nor see these as the main (or first) determinants of attraction?

I know from personal experience I am not interested in sustaining a romantic partnership without also having a good friendship. It is so important to me, that I do not cold date women. I want to know if I like then first before I ask then out. But I am still at a point where I only want to make friends with someone I have some level of attraction to. I do not really care if we ever become romantic partners or not. But to some degree attraction is running my world. This attraction can be beauty but it can also be energy, kindness, intelligence, ability to engage in deep conversations. All of these have served at attractors to want to be make and be friends with a lady.