Attraction Roots: BioGENETIC OR bioSPIRIT

There is a transition going on involving what governs attraction.

Much of what you read about gender attraction (bioGENETIC) buys into the belief that our prehistoric biological roots govern our attractions today.  This system of beliefs how's the man being the hunter and it says that behavior still governs what causes a man to feel like a man.  It also sees the woman as the gatherer and her behavior is also biologically coded into her genes for what makes her feel like a woman.

There's some excellent healthy & healing info that uses this bioGENETIC paradigm to celebrate men & women.   But there's also a lot of manipulative unhealthy ideas being promoted.  The old way focuses on unequal relationships and is devoid of spiritual considerations in it's core energies.  The new way focuses on bring spiritual concerns into the core and co-creating a higher vibrational platform for sharing a purpose larger than just the relationship.

The promoters of this paradigm say we therefore grew up in a world where men went out into the world and made a place for their mate.  While women stayed at home and took care of the home and children.  Some would oversimplify and say women nurture and men kill.

For a number reasons I think this paradigm and governed attraction is shifting.  But mostly I think this is shifting out in the world because I see it shifting in me.  And some of the other open-minded people I read.

What is the new paradigm that will govern the attraction?  And will completely overwrite me erase the old one?

The new paradigm (BioSPIRIT) seems to be based on a complex interaction between spiritual awareness, spiritual connection and the spiritual wholeness.  What does that mean?  As I see it the overriding principle is like attracts like instead of opposites attract.  We are experiencing a shift from chemistry to compassion.

1) spiritual awareness: what type of spiritual truths are you aware of?  What type of spiritual truths have you experienced and value?  aware of and has healed the triggers caused by past trauma?

2)  spiritual connection: this can be directly related to number one, or can be a value placed on another person because you appreciate the demonstrated connection to spirit they have.

3) spiritual wholeness: balanced integration of your inner masculine and feminine energies, respond in most situations with a balanced appropriate reaction instead of one out of the emotional triggers from your past relationships with the masculine feminine.

The new paradigm is based on spirituality.  And is centered in the heart instead of the genes.  Compassion becomes the centerpiece of an intimate relationship not magnetism. No longer is oneness governed by the underlying energies push/pull magnetics.   Instead intimacy begins to be about inclusion, integration and emptiness.

Your loving kindness is driving him away

Let's start with examples.

I'm in the kitchen, My friend Ruth and I are rustling up something to eat.  I leave both sauce pans on the stove with the handles sticking out where they can be bumped.  Ruth gives me a warning about the handles sticking out.  She means it as a care taking response. I take it as a interference, as if what I'm doing is not good enough.  Ok, Here I was not actually aware of the potential problem but with my physical handicap neither was I interested in the extra effort required to to set myself up to turn the pan handles.

I'm at a group meditation, I start closing a door by grabbing the back end where the hinges are and twisting.  A nearby lady, immediately jumps in and tells me to be careful I'll smash my fingers.  This is meant as a caretaking response.  In me, sets off a trigger, I respond forcefully.  Please stop trying to mother me.  With my physical handicap I was saving a few steps and consciously aware of what I was doing.

I'm at home, I'm replacing a shade with a blanket to see if it blocks out the sun better.  All my mom sees is me taking down the shade and she tells me if I leave the shade down that room will get hotter.  This is probably genuine caretaker concern. But I notice that it is her impatience that causes her to inject her concerns into the process before she understands the whole process.

And then I noticed this is what's common on all three experiences.  A projection of fears of what might happen causes each of these three women to engage me without first understanding what I'm doing I am doing, or what I am doing it, or waiting patiently to see what will happen.

In all three cases I end up feeling, like they think I'm incompetent and still a child that needs monitoring. Worse is the fact in all three cases I do not feel a sense of connection in fact what I feel is the opposite disconnection.  In each case I feel like I want to get farther away from the other person.

As I step back from these experiences I wonder what's the cause of my responses.  I wonder if my mother's inability to let me go and be a grown-up has set a pattern of reaction that I now carry forward to interpreting the responses of all women.

I remember all the times watching mothers with children on the playground.  They hover and call out constant warnings to the children to be careful about this and careful about that.  I compare that to the men on the playground who say nothing but are physically present and will engage as soon as something does happen.  Women seem unwilling to let any injury come to pass.  The men seem to see injury as something normal not something to prevent.  I see what I considered to be inpatients in the mothers.

From my point of view, I see the mothers as people who don't wait to see if the child is actually capable of doing it by themselves.

I see this response as a mother's inability to let go of her child's old way of being.  As if she constantly sees the limited abilities that her child had yesterday.  I wish I could wave a magic wand and create for her a new perspective where instead she would imagine all the confident new abilities her child was learning to be successful at.

Sure as I look at the dad's, (including me) many of them were too hands off and too un-observant to help their children avoid the biggest risks and worse injuries.  They're almost, devil may care attitudes were an opposite extreme got also seems unhealthy to child-rearing.  These fathers seem to be too disengaged, too uninvolved, too unattached to be an appropriate playground presence.

Is the feminine so preoccupied by safety and security that she is overly protective of everybody else's safety and security?  Is the masculine so preoccupied with freedom and free will that he is overly protective of everyone else's freedom and free will?

Both sides of this equation have a purpose and useful place in child-rearing and our culture at large.

I'm becoming more aware of my own preoccupation with freedom and free will.  And I see that I could nurture more of an awareness for safety and security.

I have tried to change my deep ingrained respond to the Feminine's attempts to caretake.  I have not had much luck care.  I have had much better luck restraining my own attempts make free will and freedom an important issue the others need to learn.

Admission, my mother was not good at letting go,.... not good at letting her 4 boys grow up and be independent from her.  In fact, the last example with my mom is this week (3-24-2017) she is 90 and I'm 55, so neither of us is "growing" out of it.  If yours was you may not have this issue like I do.

Looking inside is your path to spiritual development.  If what I found in me assists you in seeing yourself more clearly, Great.  If not.  Be well, Be happy and make new friends.